How im feeling...

Ive kept a low profile here for a couple of days as Ive been tired and lethargic due to 2012 insomnia. Literally from January the first and still going strong, every single night i have not slept before midnight, usually falling asleep between 1 and 2 AM, then up with D from 6.30AM onwards. I'm not stressed or unwell, just so full of emotion, hope and excitement for what 2012 may bring us.

It started when i wrote up my 'recap of 2011' post. I was overwhelmed at what amazing things i saw and did last year when it felt like it was a year of stress and sadness. Seeing my year in photos like that has completely boosted me, i feel like its actually changed my life. I know that may seem like a trite overstatement to some, but honestly, seeing my blessings recorded like that i feel so thankful and loved. How fortunate we are and how little our problems seem. For that moment of realisation alone this blog has been totally worth all of my time and effort.

Its not only that though. Insha'Allah this will be the year for 3 more big changes. I'm sooooo desperate to get a little bit of decorating done and i can see a few things getting accomplished this year. Decorating is trivial but is just one of my joys in life. I'm saving up so that i don't have to ask my hub, and when im  done saving im just going to go for it. Definitely D's bedroom, wallpaper on a couple of walls in our bedroom, and il paint the exterior front wall of the house, just the bottom half which is currently a depressing 70s shade of sand. Other projects will be started if i can keep filling up my purse selling at loved-before.

Secondly, D will be starting preschool in September insha'Allah so for 15 hours a week i will be at home alone and can do all that stuff that's been on my to-do list for years - sewing, sorting, and reading. Just being in a silent home during daylight hours, something i took for granted before i became a mother.

Finally, with the will of God, if he has granted it for us, we will be starting infertility treatment again this year, perhaps with a new baby in the house by the end of the year. For sure that is a huge excitement, and im feeling hopeful about treatment this time around.

Today i have had such a full and happy day, about to be ended with a pile of ironing and a hot shower and i feel like i may just manage to fall asleep as soon as i lay down in my bed, insha'Allah before midnight.

This morning we spent three and a half hours with friends at GoKidsGo which is an indoor play area for kids (and adults!) to go nuts and wizz down huge slides, loose all femininity crawling through gaps and immodestly squeeze through rollers or crawl in narrow spaces. I love adventure so don't mind being a bit of a plonker for a few hours with D full of laughter and smiles.

This evening me and my hubby took D out for his first restaurant meal and his first steak. Alhamdulillah he was very well behaved and we all really enjoyed the food and family time. I love that he is older and more grown up now, it has opened up a world of opportunities for us and i imagine that this year will hold many 'firsts' memories - trains, cinema and theatre visits comes to mind.

After that we went to a sweet shop full from floor to ceiling with all halal pick and mix, American, and South African sweets. (On Evington Road for all of my Leicester readers). D's whole face lit up (so did mine) and we came home with five pounds worth of childhood nostalgia.

It really has been an amazing day, just as the tiredness was beginning to take its toll on my mood. Life is sometimes slow, sometimes full, but always there are blessings.

All photos taken this Winter using Istagram on the iphone - please add me if you use instagram too. (notice_the_special_things)