Well, nearly 3 weeks down the line and we are all doing well Alhamdulillah. Baby looks 100% different to when he was first born and he’s changing even more as each day passes. Some say he has my eyes, others say he looks just like my husband – to be honest I really cant see either of us strongly, he seems an equal mix of the two of us and abit of himself thrown in there too.
Id love to share photos of him as I feel comfortable in saying that I trust those of you who read and comment on my blog, however, it’s the millions of other internet users who I wouldn’t like to see my baby boy incase his photo was to get taken advantage of in disapproving ways. Although writing a blog is in itself an invitation for others to take away some of my privacy, I do draw the line at having photos of my family & friends open to all and sundry! But please believe me when I say he is a handsome little one praise God.
So what’s it been like? Well, I was very naïve as to my preconceptions of life with a baby. It’s much more demanding than I thought it would be, he sleeps less and feeds more! I’m living off 6 hours broken sleep per night with nothing in the daytime, I have to eat every evening meal whilst holding him in my arms so that he can feed too, showering has to be slotted in whenever I get a chance, even if it’s the middle of the day, and most of my clothes are impractical as I cant nurse him in them. Am I tired, stressed, and surrounded by unwashed pots and piles of laundry? Actually no, God is blessing me with a lot of patience, energy and the willingness to just enjoy it all – it’s a challenge but im loving it. He is almost constantly attached to my chest, and we are struggling to get him to sleep for long periods in the moses basket, but these are things we can work on later – every time we think we are doing something wrong we just have to remember that he isn’t even 3 weeks old yet.
Some women will swear by putting baby in a routine from day 1 while others will let the baby lead the way right into the toddler years. I’m taking the middle path and am going to try and start a routine when he is 4 weeks old. I will persevere with it and will make a point of stepping back every so often and being realistic – a routine cannot always be stuck to and if my baby is in genuine distress then I will try to work the routine around that and not work him around the routine. I’ve nearly finished reading the famous Gina Ford book and I like her suggestions so im going with her routine first. Does anyone have an opinion on Gina Ford?
I think that for me, one of the hardest things about first time motherhood during baby’s early days is that I feel like everyone is judging me to see if I can cope. Nobody has said anything to upset me, but I feel under pressure to have a happy and well fed baby at all times when ever we have visitors. If baby cries my first reaction is “Oh gosh, such and such is going to think that I can’t look after my baby”. So I go off to feed him in another room – which makes me feel rude. I rush the feed so that I can get back and tend to my guests, which then means baby will cry again 5 minutes later. I panic – now it really looks like I don’t know what im doing. I go off to feed again, conscious that the guest may be feeling frustrated. Another rushed feed, then I think I should change baby’s nappy but know that will delay me getting back to my guest for another 5 or 10 minutes so I leave it. Back to guest - 5 minutes later baby cries for a nappy change or more feeding. I feel uncomfortable, baby feels uncomfortable, guest feels uncomfortable. I can’t wait to be alone with my baby again so that I can de-stress and settle back into calm. As soon as the guest is gone im happy and normal again and will joyfully sit and wait while baby wants a 45 minute feed. It’s the same with midwives and health visitors – they may give advise on baby’s feeding pattern or dry skin, and then I get worried that compared to other baby’s his age mine is worse off, Again the lack of confidence creeps in and I panic that they think im not doing too well. Then, as soon as they’ve left the house, calm again – im doing things my way, there’s a lot of trial and error, but my baby is safe and healthy Alhamdulillah and I feel like im coping well and doing a good job. And that’s what really matters.
Im hoping that as time passes I will feel better, but for now it’s just easier to be with my husband and baby and nobody else. But apart from these anxieties everything else is going well, im so happy, wave waited so long for this blessing and all the crying and disturbed nights wouldn’t make me feel any less content than how I feel today.
Aqeela xx
Aqeela's home and garden...
Thursday, 21 May 2009
Wednesday, 6 May 2009
im a mummy now!
Hello!
After 40 weeks and 3 days a baby has been born! On Sunday 3rd at 9.46am out he popped, i make it sound much easier than it is dont i?!
He is lovely and healthy alhamdulillah and weighed 8lb 1oz.
I delivered him in a birthing pool at the hospital, labour was 8hrs 45min - pretty short for a 1st baby (normally 12 to 16 hrs of labour) so i was very blessed. No pain relief!!! Not even gas and air! And no complications either alhamdulillah.
Its busy work this mummy stuff! Everything is going well, we are slowly learning all these new things and even though there's always so much to do i just have to look at him and hear his little squeaks and i feel so blessed, despite feeling like ive just been in a boxing match!
Hubby is just incredible thank God, it seems to have come naturally to him and he has really helped out. Its lovely to see them together.
Anyway, im in the middle of feeding this hungry little baby so i need to get going,
Back in 1 or 2 weeks God willing, missing reading all of your blogs but theres just so little time now,
Aqeela xx
After 40 weeks and 3 days a baby has been born! On Sunday 3rd at 9.46am out he popped, i make it sound much easier than it is dont i?!
He is lovely and healthy alhamdulillah and weighed 8lb 1oz.
I delivered him in a birthing pool at the hospital, labour was 8hrs 45min - pretty short for a 1st baby (normally 12 to 16 hrs of labour) so i was very blessed. No pain relief!!! Not even gas and air! And no complications either alhamdulillah.
Its busy work this mummy stuff! Everything is going well, we are slowly learning all these new things and even though there's always so much to do i just have to look at him and hear his little squeaks and i feel so blessed, despite feeling like ive just been in a boxing match!
Hubby is just incredible thank God, it seems to have come naturally to him and he has really helped out. Its lovely to see them together.
Anyway, im in the middle of feeding this hungry little baby so i need to get going,
Back in 1 or 2 weeks God willing, missing reading all of your blogs but theres just so little time now,
Aqeela xx
Saturday, 2 May 2009
The grocery budget {Part 1}
Since November 2008 I have been keeping a record of all the money we spend on grocery shopping – this includes food, toiletries, and household cleaners / loo rolls etc. It doesn’t include stuff for the pets. Basically it’s just your general supermarket type stuff.
Why did I start doing this? Well, when I was working, quite often I would be surprised when people where saying how much they had spent on their supermarket shopping, most of them tended to do it weekly, spending at least £100 per time and I thought this was expensive – but I had no idea how much we spent per month on our own grocery shopping.
Until I could drive we tended to do a huge supermarket shop about every 6 weeks and then rely on local shops in between for fresh stuff. Once I passed my driving test back in July last year i took on the roll of getting all the shopping to save hubby the hassle (he hates it, I enjoy it) and so that we could have nice fresh stuff more often. I started going to the supermarket every 2 or 3 weeks, still with trips to the local shops in between - as and when we needed something like milk / bread / eggs etc.
When predicting how much we spent on average I would total up my supermarket shops and think that was pretty much it, not realising exactly how often I would take a trip to the local shops and how much id spend once I got to them. So I started jotting it down.
We are a family of 2 people (but not for long God willing!!) and our expenditure has gone like this…
Nov 2008 - £156
Dec 2008 - £119.25
Jan 2009 – £224
Feb 2009 - £56.19
March 2009 - £276
April 2009 - £166.78
Our average spend stands at around £166 per month. That means £83 per person, per month. How does this compare to your own shopping? Would you say that’s a lot or not?
I know we could cut back; we buy a lot of organic / fair trade / free range, but this is not something that we are willing to compromise on. We also buy stuff from the ‘basics’ ranges too, so that kind of equals it out (a bit). During my pregnancy I have craved sweet stuff so ive also been buying a lot of sugary foods regardless of cost which I wouldn’t normally bother with (hopefully that craving will disappear soon!). We also eat a lot of fish which is increasingly expensive but we think it’s worth it. And now that ive discovered that frozen fish is cheaper than fresh, I will be trying to buy that more often to save a few pennies.
I use 4 supermarkets - Aldi, Asda, Co-Op & Sainsburys. Then I go to small local grocery shops in between.
Id be very interested to know what your opinion is on our budget. Are we good spenders or bad spenders??
Why did I start doing this? Well, when I was working, quite often I would be surprised when people where saying how much they had spent on their supermarket shopping, most of them tended to do it weekly, spending at least £100 per time and I thought this was expensive – but I had no idea how much we spent per month on our own grocery shopping.
Until I could drive we tended to do a huge supermarket shop about every 6 weeks and then rely on local shops in between for fresh stuff. Once I passed my driving test back in July last year i took on the roll of getting all the shopping to save hubby the hassle (he hates it, I enjoy it) and so that we could have nice fresh stuff more often. I started going to the supermarket every 2 or 3 weeks, still with trips to the local shops in between - as and when we needed something like milk / bread / eggs etc.
When predicting how much we spent on average I would total up my supermarket shops and think that was pretty much it, not realising exactly how often I would take a trip to the local shops and how much id spend once I got to them. So I started jotting it down.
We are a family of 2 people (but not for long God willing!!) and our expenditure has gone like this…
Nov 2008 - £156
Dec 2008 - £119.25
Jan 2009 – £224
Feb 2009 - £56.19
March 2009 - £276
April 2009 - £166.78
Our average spend stands at around £166 per month. That means £83 per person, per month. How does this compare to your own shopping? Would you say that’s a lot or not?
I know we could cut back; we buy a lot of organic / fair trade / free range, but this is not something that we are willing to compromise on. We also buy stuff from the ‘basics’ ranges too, so that kind of equals it out (a bit). During my pregnancy I have craved sweet stuff so ive also been buying a lot of sugary foods regardless of cost which I wouldn’t normally bother with (hopefully that craving will disappear soon!). We also eat a lot of fish which is increasingly expensive but we think it’s worth it. And now that ive discovered that frozen fish is cheaper than fresh, I will be trying to buy that more often to save a few pennies.
I use 4 supermarkets - Aldi, Asda, Co-Op & Sainsburys. Then I go to small local grocery shops in between.
Id be very interested to know what your opinion is on our budget. Are we good spenders or bad spenders??
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